So You’re Getting a Divorce: What About the Children?

In: People

Submitted By herstory
Words 2592
Pages 11
When you make the decision to get married you do so with forever in mind. So when you find that your forever is not as long as you thought it changes your whole world. However it’s not only about the two of you. What about the children, how are they supposed to understand that their life will never be the same? As adults we make decisions based on how we feel and what we think is best for all involved. Not realizing that sometimes; not always divorce has a negative impact on the little ones trapped in the middle. When you decide to divorce you need to remember that your child is not a middle man, their emotional wellbeing should be first and they need to be provided with any help possible to make the life changing transition easier for them to understand and make it through.
The research that has been done with these children has shown that they experience a higher incidence of internalizing problems, such as depression, anxiety, obsessive worry, problems with concentration and attention, difficulty with emotional regulation, and sleep-related problems. These children tend to externalize their problems with behaviors such as aggressiveness, anger, academic difficulties, poorer peer relationships, resentment of authority, inability to adapt to new situations, sexual acting-out, drug and alcohol use, problems as young adults with intimacy, and problems in their own marriages. (Shienvold)
They say children are resilient and they bounce back easily. That most won’t even remember that mommy and daddy were once married and happy. Truth is children know and see more than adults give them credit for. The day you thought you were hiding your sadness so well and your child came up to you and hugged you and said I love you mom/dad. The day you thought they didn’t hear you crying in the bathroom. The moment you thought your smile could hide it all are all lies. Children are…...

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